Tag Archives: real

Society is sick, not me…

Whilst I support the idea of let’s talk about mental health, get it out in the open, not be afraid to admit our ‘problems’ I feel that this continuing trend  in what is, in fact, labelling people (or people labelling themselves) with anxiety, depression, OCD and any number of ‘disorders’, is dangerous.

I absolutely agree that it is important to not hide away, to pretend all is fine. It’s not ok to feel unable to voice our truth (important point: when I say our I mean absolutely everybody on this earth) when we are finding life difficult.

I know there have been people along the way that have found it difficult that I don’t actually label myself. I don’t label myself*. I don’t say I’m a depressive. I don’t say I have mental illness. This isn’t because I am ashamed. This doesn’t mean that the people who do get labelled/label themselves/say they are a depressive/have a whole host of other ‘mental illnesses/disorders’ are braver than me. Ironically, some of the people who don’t like that I don’t allow the labels for myself, have told me that they admire the fact that I stand up and say so when I think something is wrong rather than going with the crowd, and that they wish they could be like that.

I see being labelled as a negative. I am labelled. I can then be placed in a box and ‘helped’ by treatment (always medication but sometimes with other types of therapy) that apparently makes people with ‘mental health issues’ better.

What about this type of labelling, rather than labelling in a black and white way?  I am a positive person, I always respect and help other people, I do voluntary work as it seems natural to me. What about…. I create personal drawings, paintings, poems for my friends and family which bring smiles to their faces, I am prone to very positive periods in my life. How about a label for the times when I am just living quite simply, not doing very much? Am I labelled by any one of those things? NOPE!

Let’s take a different view that, actually, society is sick… not me. I think I maybe understand why some people take solace in labelling themselves with a ‘mental condition’. Perhaps they feel that if they know what’s wrong with them they can do something about it…yes, I get that. However, what I am asking is that those people don’t look at me as though I am in some sort of denial. I can, in fact, see very, very clearly. Sometimes too clearly, which is why I can find life in this society particularly difficult at times…increasingly more often. Don’t judge me. You who looks at me with your ‘depression’, anxiety’, etc are people just like me, who absolutely hate to be judged but have become judges yourselves.

So, I will NEVER be labelled or label myself. Being labelled is just like being in a box; it has it’s limits, it shuts you off, it can be dark and perhaps a bit boring? Many know, from experience of survival through difficult times, that it is easy and, to a certain degree helpful to build up an imaginary wall around ourselves to ‘protect’, to ‘be safe’. I see labelling as having another wall forced upon you. ‘Getting better’ is surely about unpicking, breaking down the walls around us in a safe way not adding another limiting wall/box (label) tightly around us.

That’s how I feel anyway. We all have different opinions and experiences. That is the point isn’t it…

*Just as an aside, I don’t label myself in any other part of my life either.


The End of Friends

Goodbye. What more to say…
Feels like a stab but this feeling won’t stay.
So long. What more to say…
Respect’s more important not the coward’s way.
Farewell. What more to say…
My heart will mend, bitterness fade away.
Goodnight. What more to say…
The dark of disappointment will be allayed.
Adios. What more to say…
Saying it in Spanish, does that make it ok?
Goodbye. No more to say…
Except that I feel a little lighter than yesterday.

Bye bye.


I am not surprised at all that the homeless man has a huge heart …..

Best to see (some of at least) the link in bold below before reading this post …

The headline is ‘This Guy Gave $100 to a Homeless Man to See How He Spent it. Here’s What Happened’. Some thing the the ‘guy’ said was  “This has to be one of the most amazing experience so far on this channel. I did not only just help a homeless man, but I actually met an incredible human being and a friend. We were following him for a couple miles for almost an hour or so. Later that day we took him out to eat and got him a hotel to stay. The more I talk to him, the more I sense how genuine he is…. I gave him my number and told him to call me when he needs help. This again is proof that not all the homeless people are bad people. Never judge a book by its cover. One love!”

http://theantimedia.org/guy-gave-100-homeless-man-see-spent-heres-happened/

I can’t watch all of this video, I don’t need to. I am not surprised at all that the homeless man has a huge heart and a sense of care, compassion and community. Why is it assumed homeless people are bad anyway? The default setting HOMELESS = BAD. Shouldn’t the default setting be ‘shit! What the hell have they been through to end up where they are?’

I am spending tomorrow (Christmas Eve) and Christmas morning with homeless people at a temporary shelter. I’ve done it the last 3 years. I can’t imagine not doing it, it’s what Christmas means to me now.

These people labelled ‘homeless’ are ridiculously appreciative…not just for the food, bed and warmth but appreciative of someone who just listens without judgement. Someone who doesn’t answer back telling them what they should do, someone who listens with empathy and doesn’t start talking about their own apparent problems.

I have heard many stories…interesting, courageous, sad. Yes, there can be some awkward moments but when I walk away, every time, I feel more like a human being should feel. I feel that I have been around realness rather than the commercial idea of spending a shit load to show other people how you feel.

I actually feel a bit crap today as, even though I haven’t spent shit loads, I have fallen for the commercial thing again this year. I got Theatre tickets for my six and eight year old niece and nephew because they have got everything they need and more so it’s the only thing I can think of and I get to spend quality time with them enjoying a great production BUT I still got them some other ‘touchable/material’ presents (I was going to just get one but got more) because I knew they’d be disappointed if I didn’t hand some presents over. 

I’d rather not do Christmas, not in our new traditional, commercial way anyway. What can I say? If I can’t not have Christmas at all, which would be preferable to me, I can at least help some people who are having a crap time in their lives have a decent day with a bit of nosh and a chat.