Society is sick, not me…

Whilst I support the idea of let’s talk about mental health, get it out in the open, not be afraid to admit our ‘problems’ I feel that this continuing trend  in what is, in fact, labelling people (or people labelling themselves) with anxiety, depression, OCD and any number of ‘disorders’, is dangerous.

I absolutely agree that it is important to not hide away, to pretend all is fine. It’s not ok to feel unable to voice our truth (important point: when I say our I mean absolutely everybody on this earth) when we are finding life difficult.

I know there have been people along the way that have found it difficult that I don’t actually label myself. I don’t label myself*. I don’t say I’m a depressive. I don’t say I have mental illness. This isn’t because I am ashamed. This doesn’t mean that the people who do get labelled/label themselves/say they are a depressive/have a whole host of other ‘mental illnesses/disorders’ are braver than me. Ironically, some of the people who don’t like that I don’t allow the labels for myself, have told me that they admire the fact that I stand up and say so when I think something is wrong rather than going with the crowd, and that they wish they could be like that.

I see being labelled as a negative. I am labelled. I can then be placed in a box and ‘helped’ by treatment (always medication but sometimes with other types of therapy) that apparently makes people with ‘mental health issues’ better.

What about this type of labelling, rather than labelling in a black and white way?  I am a positive person, I always respect and help other people, I do voluntary work as it seems natural to me. What about…. I create personal drawings, paintings, poems for my friends and family which bring smiles to their faces, I am prone to very positive periods in my life. How about a label for the times when I am just living quite simply, not doing very much? Am I labelled by any one of those things? NOPE!

Let’s take a different view that, actually, society is sick… not me. I think I maybe understand why some people take solace in labelling themselves with a ‘mental condition’. Perhaps they feel that if they know what’s wrong with them they can do something about it…yes, I get that. However, what I am asking is that those people don’t look at me as though I am in some sort of denial. I can, in fact, see very, very clearly. Sometimes too clearly, which is why I can find life in this society particularly difficult at times…increasingly more often. Don’t judge me. You who looks at me with your ‘depression’, anxiety’, etc are people just like me, who absolutely hate to be judged but have become judges yourselves.

So, I will NEVER be labelled or label myself. Being labelled is just like being in a box; it has it’s limits, it shuts you off, it can be dark and perhaps a bit boring? Many know, from experience of survival through difficult times, that it is easy and, to a certain degree helpful to build up an imaginary wall around ourselves to ‘protect’, to ‘be safe’. I see labelling as having another wall forced upon you. ‘Getting better’ is surely about unpicking, breaking down the walls around us in a safe way not adding another limiting wall/box (label) tightly around us.

That’s how I feel anyway. We all have different opinions and experiences. That is the point isn’t it…

*Just as an aside, I don’t label myself in any other part of my life either.

Creativity ~ the perfect ‘being’

I am creating. A lot more than I have for a long time. It’s the perfect way to just ‘be’.

…and I have a Facebook page now so I can share my creations – RomsArt

 

 

Talking about my art….

I’ve always been creative, went to Art College after school, but stopped painting and drawing for a long time.

I have recently unearthed my college portfolio which I had hidden away and, although I enjoyed going through it and seeing some of the work I’d produced, it was also quite upsetting as I got insight into why I stopped and what a difficult time it was for me in the second and third year in college. I had already had several traumatic events in my past and more happened whilst I was at college. At the end of my first year, just before my end of year show, I was raped by knife point by one man whilst another man watched. This triggered a whole catalogue of trauma and difficulties. Although I didn’t really acknowledge it at the time, my work became rather dark and reflected the difficult time I was having.

The tutors expected us to talk about our art in college but I could never do it and so was made to feel that I wasn’t a proper artist. I thought I didn’t know what my art was about then but see now that I couldn’t face what it was about as it was too painful. Now I look at it it is very obvious to me what it was about and probably helped me get through some of the trauma in some way, I just couldn’t talk about it though….I guess this was art therapy for me. I got through those two years and somehow passed the course but I didn’t feel that I had passed as ‘an artist’ and afterwards I didn’t continue in a creative career or even do very much art in my personal time.

I am so glad I have started painting and drawing again and rediscovered why creating art is so important to me….. I am enjoying it in a more confident and relaxed way….I’ve realised I don’t HAVE to talk about what my art is about but funnily enough I wouldn’t mind taking about it now. And, although I have been creative in other ways over the years, I wonder how I managed to exist so long without regular painting and drawing in my life.

It’s like a form of meditation. It’s necessary.